Ok, I'm beginning to feel a little bad. I recently auditioned for a production with my theatre group. I wasn't going to, because my calendar is pretty full, and I enjoy summer months of hanging out in the yard in the evening with my kids and wife and neighbors.
But this is the play...the quintessential historical drama of evolution vs. creationism. You know the one, if you know drama. Now I'm not the type of person who has to play the lead. In fact, I'd prefer to not play the lead...my memory isn't what it used to be, and I can't spend 10 hours a night sitting in the common room studying lines like I did when I was in college. There were, however, a couple of really good roles I did want. I talked it over with Lady McMom, and told her how much I loved the show and how much I wanted to play the role of either the preacher or the journalist...both totally sweet roles-roles I really have wanted to play for a long time. Lady McMom was great, despite how hard it would be and how I'd be leaving her to do bedtime with M and A and all the home stuff on her own, she was very supportive and told me to get my rear down there and audition. I was flying on clouds for a couple of days...
Until the cast list came out. No Preacher or Journalist role for me. Not exactly the spear carrier #5 either, but I ended in a role that was pretty boring. It wasn't one with a good meaty run of lines...nothing I could sink my teeth into. It was a role that I generally had no interest in, whatsoever.
Now I had a dilemma. The show is way short on having enough men to cover all the roles. However, I didn't feel it fair to my family to be away from them during these summer months for a role that didn't "do it for me." On the other hand, the director is good friend, and bailing on him wouldn't exactly make me feel all warm and fuzzy.
In the end the choice was no choice at all. Family first...always. I sent a very apologetic email to director saying essentially, "thanks but no thanks, I can justify the time away from my family." Two days later, no return response. I can't make everyone happy, I suppose.
I don't think I'm a primadonna. I don't regularly pass on a role just because it isn't the role I truly wanted. It's all about priorities, which over the years have been misguided when it comes to the theatre. Here I finally got it right. No second guessing, I made the right choice.
I can still feel bad about it, right?